Tuesday's Tidbits

1. The Internets are surprisingly easy to set up when two conditions are met: (1) Internet Juice is flowing to your phone jack/modem, and (2) your LameSys router isn't trying to run expired firmware. We are now 2 for 2, having spent some QT with Matthew the Verizon Man and purchased a new Belkin router thanks to the astute insights of one Christopher King, IT genius. Houston, we have liftoff. [Matthew kindly promised not to tell the neighbors that I have been borrowing their sketchy, unreliable internet since I moved in.]

2. It is impossible to trim a cat's hind claws when you are the only human present. [note: applies to non-tranquilized cats only.]

3. Apartments do not spontaneously unpack and decorate themselves during a prolonged period of absence. Neither do cats have the ability nor motivation to tidy the place up. It is much the same as when I left, aside from mounds of litter tossed carelessly onto the closet floor. If humans were like cats, bathrooms would have drains in the middle of the floor.

4. If Mom Pearce had not provided me with 8-10 servings of baked ziti with meatballs, I would have pitched a tent outside of the Arby's down the street. The ziti is my lifeline. Thank you, Mom!

5. Keller Williams says, "I can go three days without a bath, but I'll never be whole without my better half." This is proving true.

Come home, Joel!