Regent University Commencement Exercises

Well, it's official! Well, almost. Even almost-er than before when I defended my dissertation. I'm so perilously close to having my doctoral degree, I can taste it.

On Saturday, May 8, 2010, I participated in the Regent University Commencement Exercises. Even more meaningful was the Commissioning Ceremony the previous afternoon, which was a worship service and hooding ceremony just for the School of Psychology & Counseling. At the ceremony, my faculty placed my doctoral hood over my head, anointed my forehead with oil, and prayed over me. And the following morning at Commencement, Dr. Robertson himself conferred upon me the degree "Doctor of Psychology", with all the rights and privileges thereto appertaining. I even got to switch my tassel to the other side!

I am so grateful to the Lord for sustaining me through the past five years. What a journey it has been. And I praise God not only for His faithfulness, but for the steadfast support of my beloved husband at every turn. When I moved to Virginia Beach to start this program, he followed without hesitation. When my internship brought us to Reading, PA, he uprooted himself from his stable, decent-paying job and is now working two part-time jobs and taking library science courses - finally, a chance to pursue his own dreams. Joel, husband of my youth, I know that you are not one for grand laudatory comments or public acknowledgments of your merit. But you are truly my rock and my hero. For your selflessness and constant encouragement over the last five years, I thank you. I could not have done it without you, and that is no exaggeration.

I also thank my parents - mom and dad, I will always remember your gift of my doctoral hood and all that that symbolizes. As the song says, your love has given me roots, and helped me find my wings.

To mom and dad Pearce, I thank you as well, for welcoming me into your family even as I was about to drag your wonderful son on this whirlwind adventure of a doctoral program. Thank you for your support and encouragement, and for advising me so strongly against getting off of the train in the middle of the tunnel.

There are so many thanks to be poured out here. My precious sister, and my sisters and brothers in law, you have all been behind me every step of the way. My cohort members have been sweet friends and fellow sojourners through the crucible that is a clinical psychology program. I don't even remember who I was before you all came into my life.

Before this becomes an Oscar acceptance speech (too late?), allow me to cut to the photographic evidence.
Behold, almost-Dr. Pearce:

Two sweet friends, Amy and Michele, and Michele's little Jacob.
This is pre-hooding, hence the bare black graduation robes.

Complete regalia, after the Commissioning/hooding Ceremony. It's not that I favor the Pearces over my own family, but somehow this was the only picture I have access to at the moment!


And, complete with the souvenir hat and fake diploma! If we look a little uncomfortable, it's because we were - I baked in my own portable oven on a brick patio at 90 degrees for three hours. Joel at least got to sit in the shade...

And what's all this to-do about a hood? Behold, the Regent Psy.D. hood in (most of) its glory! It has a sweet tail thing at the bottom that shows more of the royal blue and green colors.

To clarify, I will be totally official when I have completed my internship and that final internship credit has posted with the registrar. Then, they will unceremoniously mail me a diploma, and I will commence signing even my grocery receipts with a "Psy.D." on the end.

Thanks for your kind attention, if you've read this far. Here ends the public lauding of my own success, I promise. Now, back to the barely-paying, lowly intern grind...hmm, I think this post was more to remind me that I really did graduate, than it was to inform anybody else of the fact. I love being in tune with my underlying psychological drives...

You Know It's Time for a New Post When...

...You check your blog on January 4 and realize there are still pumpkins gracing the page. I can't believe I missed my opportunity for Christmas cheer here on the interwebs!

Sadly, nothing has happened between November 13 and January 4 to inspire a truly substantive post. Well, that's not entirely true, but they're working me hard these days and between a new rotation and catching my breath from the holidays, I don't have bonus thoughts to string together for the blog.

You read that right: This week I begin a new rotation over on the inpatient unit. Spruce Pavilion. Club Spruce. The Spruce. I hear the food is excellent. Yes, there is shuffleboard.

For the patients, that is...I, on the other hand, will magically transform into Spruce's Personal Assessment Slave (I wish that were backwards so I could be a SAP....Slavish Assessment Person?) (oh wait, it could be SPAS, pronounced "spazz". Yes!), help run therapy groups over there, and still carry my outpatient caseload. Hopefully it won't be quite as stressful as my former office-mate Eileen would have me believe. ("Former" because she and Monica traded offices, not because I finally lost my patience....).

The internship's going great, yes I'm a bit loopy (hazard of the job, I'm afraid), and don't expect another blog update til May 1 when I flip rotations for the third and final time! Someday I'll be free again to think my own thoughts and share them with you...

Love,
Almost-Dr. Pearce (fingers crossed!)

Warning: Clip Art Ahead

I don't really know of an eloquent way to present what has amounted to an unceremonious end to my academic career (ergo, pictures instead of words!). Oh, I'm not totally finished...there's still that final exam on Thursday, along with a brief presentation before the final, and my dissertation to write this summer, and my internship to do before I graduate.

But all that aside: Never again will I sit through another lecture for the purpose of gaining knowledge toward earning credit-hours for a degree. Ever. Classes are d-u-n, DUN! You know how that makes me feel?

[the actual caption for this photo was "cracked-out happy cat". yes, yes i am.]

But you know what else will never happen again? I'll never be in the same room with these amazing people all together ever again. (Unless you count the inevitable pre-graduation sweatfest in which we bathe in the wetness of our own stench beneath those hard-earned doctoral robes and hoods. But I'm not counting that.)

(not pictured: Joni Lynn and Aaron)

And that? Makes me feel more like this.



This group of people has been my family during a most formative time in my life. Nobody else understands our experience of graduate school, from clinical interviewing class to navigating the internship process. In more ways than I can count, I have become who I am now through four years of intense work, manic schedules, shared laughter, and myriad growing pains as we've built relationships and learned what it means to become a clinical psychologist. When I sit down and think about it...well....I don't want to sit down and think about it.

What I'm trying to say is, even this final transition (second-to-final if you count graduation next year) is fraught with a complex roller coaster of emotions. It is difficult be truly joyful, but neither can I be completely downcast. The Lord has brought us thus far, and now is the time to ACT: "acknowledge, consolidate, and transition" (thank you, Dr. Jackson, for that final pearl). While the goodbye is bitter, it is sweet to move forward in the Lord's perfect will and timing than to cling to a season that is past. Such is life. But my heart is heavy, even while it is light.

Goodbye. I love you all, truly and deeply (in the least possible creepy way). I am better for having known you, and I pray that in some tiny way you might say the same of me.

One thing's for sure though. In the words of that most sagacious swine...

Integration Capstone

At Regent, we talk a lot about the integration of Christianity and psychology. That is, how do I approach my clinical work from a Christian worldview? To what extent do I bring my faith into the therapy room, and to what extent to I view myself as a "Christian psychologist" as opposed to a "psychologist who happens to be a Christian"?

One of the last courses of our academic career at Regent is an Integration Capstone class, in which we spend hours just sitting around and chewing on the thoughts and ideas of high-profile integrationists, as well as our own perspectives on integration. Our capstone assignment, if you will, is to develop a 5-10 minute presentation of our own approach to integration, a landmark experience or event that shaped our integration journey, or just some kind of personal interaction with the topic of integration. I thought I might share my own presentation with you here. What a long, strange trip it's been as a Christian doctoral student in clinical psychology, alternately experiencing antagonism both from psychologists and the church. It is my prayer that, by the grace of God, my career will be a journey of integration and a testament to how God is Lord over all things, even psychology.

My thoughts, if you are interested...

My integration journey has been sort of a gradual one; that is, there is no particular landmark event or experience I would point to as “the one” that shaped my integration philosophy.
But as I look back over the past four years, I can identify a few driving forces and overarching themes that have been the most influential, so those are what I’ll focus on now.

The obvious driving force behind my integration development has been the hand of God. But as far as the particular instruments that God has used in my life, the most influential by far has been my husband. I know how that probably sounds, but it’s really true. As Joel has pursued God throughout our marriage, he has been constantly pushing me also to learn more about what I believe and why I believe it. He loves the Word of God and is always challenging me to compare my attitudes, opinions, and actions against the standard of Scripture. In fact, when I haven’t been reading about psychology, I’ve been reading up on my theology. As a result, I can see an overall trajectory in my life over the past few years toward a greater understanding and love of Scripture, and greater application of Scripture to all aspects of my life.

I obviously have not mastered this, and so I want to be careful to say this with great humility. But I can definitely say that God has been gracious in opening my heart and mind to see Him and His truth more and more clearly.

A major piece of this growing in my faith has been a growing knowledge of and appreciation for the sovereignty of God. If you had asked me at the beginning of our program if God was in control of everything, I would have said, “of course!”. Obviously. That was a part of my basic understanding of Scripture and my faith.

But as I progressed through my training and especially as I started to see clients, this truth became ever more precious to me. I started out with that whole idealistic thing, where I thought I could take every single client to a place of wholeness and happiness. As I realized how foolish that was, I became incredibly troubled at the thought that I couldn’t “fix” people. That’s why I signed up for this gig, right? But I learned to find comfort in two things: First, I had a supervisor who challenged me to think more realistically about my expectations for therapy. Duh, right? So then I started to view my relationship with my clients as a particular chapter of their lives, a small piece of their overall progress.

And second, I clung to the sovereignty of God and His promises in Scripture. He is often gracious even to those who don’t love Him, sending rain on the just and on the unjust, but He also declares that He will have mercy on whom He will have mercy. He is a God of healing and peace, but not everyone is guaranteed healing and peace in this lifetime. And that’s ok. My job is to be faithful to His calling in my life, to be obedient to His Word and do my part with excellence. As a psychologist, that will obviously mean offering compassion and working toward healing for my clients; but when healing doesn’t come in the form of gigantic therapeutic gains, I can be ok with that and acknowledge that this person is ultimately in the palm of God’s hand, along with the rest of creation and His children. God is God, and I am not.

One other aspect of integration I’d like to mention goes back to my husband. As I’ve spent the last few years wrestling with what it means to be a Christian psychologist, and as Joel and I have grown together in our faith, he has challenged me to apply Scripture to my work as a clinician. There have been some particularly tricky client situations that have stretched the limits of my understanding and pushed me out of my comfort zone. When I’ve shared these situations with my husband (in a strictly de-identified context, of course), he has questioned how my therapeutic goals line up with my beliefs as a Christian. At times I’ve been able to answer him easily, but sometimes – I just didn’t know. I feel blessed to have such a person in my life, who is not a psychologist but has sharpened me as an integrationist and pushed me toward forging a unified identity out of these two areas of my life.

So where do I stand now, in my integration approach? I’m not totally sure, I haven't quite worked all the kinks out; but I do know that if God is truly Lord of all and Lord of my life, then my psychological work must be subject to Him as well. I find great harmony between the techniques we use, and the truths of Scripture, so implicit integration is often easy for me. I love the opportunities for explicit integration as well – using Scripture in therapy, discussing spiritual questions, etc. For me the challenge to integration comes with those tough clients, difficult cases, and situations that might try to blur the edges of my Christian convictions. But I remember that at the end of the day I answer not to the APA, not to an ethics board, but to the God of the universe. I obviously will do my best to adhere to all legal and ethical standards of the profession: it’s not that I hope to be a renegade Christian therapist bringing everybody to Jesus. But I do hope to be so familiar with the Word of God and so attuned to His spirit that I can exercise discernment and wisdom in fulfilling my ultimate responsibility to Christ even and especially as a psychologist.

Xxxxxxx, YY

Let the planning commence.

It should not surprise you to know that Joel has created a Google Map showing all of the Reformed churches within a ZZ miles radius of Xxxx Xxxxxxx.

More information will be forthcoming but for now...let there be much rejoicing!

Note: This entry has been de-identified. Do not be alarmed.

But Where??

We won't be able to learn where we matched until Monday morning at 10:00.

Great system, I know. No flaws whatsoever.

Stay tuned.

It's Ok, You Can Breathe Again

Joel and I are so pleased and humbled to announce the results of the match.

We matched!!!!!!

More accurately, I matched, but there's whole one flesh thing, so...

We are so much indebted to the grace of God that indeed our first thought and statement regarding this news is praise God! To Him be all of the glory, for there is nothing I've done to deserve an internship position more than the many who have not matched today. We will spend every day of our internship year thanking Him for the opportunity to be there, and for me to graduate in 2010!

News from my friends continues to trickle in. Some will match, and others will go on to the Clearinghouse on Monday. Please continue to pray for the many who have learned this morning that the emotional roller coaster is not quite over. We knew that not all of us would match, and in the final shake-down there are many who will be disappointed. This reality serves to humble me yet further, and brings me to my knees in absolute gratitude to the Lord. He is no less good and gracious to those who have not matched today, and my prayer is that they will go forward in faith that they are about to learn much of His love and providence.

Soli, soli, soli deo gloria

I don't know whether that works in Latin, but you get the idea.

Also, the title of this post made me think of that song "That, that I shall never breathe again (breathe again, breathe again)". I have to say, I did not expect to think of Toni Braxton on match day.

13.25 Hours and Counting

That's how much longer my cohort must wait to find out about our match statuses (stati?). There was much emotional flooding earlier today as we exchanged well wishes and promises of prayer, and we asked one another how we plan to spend our "last evening". Some of us intend to stay up all night and compulsively refresh the inbox. Some planned to sleep all afternoon in order to facilitate this. There are others (me!) who hope to sleep peacefully, perhaps with the aid of a few Unisom and a rum and Coke (I can choke one down, under the circumstances). The highlight of this plan is that whenever I take a sleep aid, I find it impossible to get up early the next morning. Thus, I can remain unconscious until the deadline for match emails, which is 10:00 a.m.

The downside would be if the email comes at 8:00 a.m. and I sleep through all the phone calls that will inevitably follow. It's a chance I'm willing to take.

Tonight Joel has bought my favorite ice cream and offered me his unconditional support. I get to choose our activities and even our music choice! He turned on some Bruce Springsteen and I asked for Indelible Grace. He wondered why. I said, I'd like to listen to something that is soothing to my soul instead of.....this. No offense to The Boss, but whatever song was up first had some kind of dead cat/harmonica thing going on that was problematic to my stress level.

Regarding the stress level: It's really not too bad, as long as nothing annoying or irritating happens to throw off my delicate balance. When I'm cognitively engaged, I know everything will be fine. It's when I'm distracted that the automatic thoughts kick in and I become slightly crazy.

I'm so thankful for my wonderful husband, whose top priority tonight is waiting on me (literally, he already scooped the ice cream and has Carcassonne set up, so I should probably get going) and loving me. Together we're standing on the promises of God and looking forward to whatever news the morning brings.

I'd like to take this final opportunity before the match news arrives to acknowledge that my internship is not the be-all and end-all of the world. It certainly feels like a huge deal, and impacts our lives quite significantly. But in the overall scheme of things, I am still just a lump of clay in the Potter's hands. I'm just a cog in the gigantic machinery of His sovereign plan. Whether I do or don't match, I'm just one tiny little thread in His tapestry. And I'm thankful for that! There are so many other, more important things going on in the world and even in my life. Knowing that there is not even one renegade molecule in the universe is comforting. I can trust the Lord with my life because I'm about as big as one precious little molecule to Him. He's got it all under control. And it's all about Him and for His glory.

I'm reminded of Shack, Rack, and Benny who were to be thrown into the fiery furnace because of their faith. My God is able to provide me with the internship of my dreams. But even if He does not, He is still the King of kings and I will bow to none other - not even to the stress and possible discouragement of this process. Truly, soli deo gloria!

Your prayers remain greatly coveted. I'll keep you posted!

Possibly Too Much Self-Disclosure, But The Whole Point is That I'm Crazy

I'm not sure why I do these things to myself, but this week has been a culmination of all the most stressful factors possible.

First of all, it is the Week of Pre-Reckoning. This is the period preceding the Days of Reckoning on Friday and Monday, wherein we learn our APPIC fate. So there is a wee bit of the stress. Even though it is all in the Lord's hands, it's like my brain still insists on short-circuiting all my happy coping strategies of prayer and focusing on the promises of God. I am experiencing significant psychomotor agitation and general feelings of physiological arousal. These are more commonly known as freaking out, in the bodily sense.

Also there are the hormones, which shall not be spoken of further. Suffice it to say that I elected to be a huge craving bundle of moods this week.

And finally, I sent my precious Mac to depart from my presence. [Aside: can you tell I just started the book of Judges as I read through the Bible? All sorts of catchy phrases from the Pentateuch peppering my speech these days...] My laptop did nothing worse than freeze up a few times in the last couple of months, and perhaps spontaneously reboot once or twice. And here I have practically disowned it, all in the name of more reliable performance and less anemic start-up sound. Oh and hopefully a replacement keyboard cover. New innards, new outards, I will hardly recognize Elizabeth's Mac when it returns to me.

So anyway, I am without several key coping mechanisms [laptop, emotional stability] during this leadup to the D.o.R. At least we have a bucket o' monster cookies and a Wii to see me through! Not to mention the bottle of rum we bought on a whim last week, before I remembered that I don't really care for rum and Coke. [I had a rum and Coke alongside a few slices of pizza for dinner, and made a horrendous face after my first sip. Me: "Ew, it's so strong!" Joel: "Not really." Me: "Really?" Joel: "If you wanted it to taste like Coke, you should have just had a glass of Coke." Me: "......"]

Also on Thursday evening I went to McDonalds for a double cheeseburger and fries at 10:00 at night. What am I, in college?

So the irrational choices are plentiful, and I'm sure they are not a sign of worse things to come during these last few days before D.o.R.

Riiiiiight.

Able, Baker, and Charles

Learn about the internship match, and come to a greater appreciation of the uncertainty involved as I contemplate my future. The match example below comes from the National Matching Services, Inc. website.

~~~~~~~~~~

An example of the matching process involving three applicants and three programs is shown below. The Rank Order Lists submitted by programs and applicants in this example are as follows:

Programs' Rank Order Lists

Program A	Program B	Program C
(2 Positions)	(1 Position)	(1 Position)
1. Charles	1. Baker	1. Baker
2. Baker	2. Charles
3. Able	3. Able

Applicants' Rank Order Lists

Able	Baker	Charles
1. Program B	1. Program A	1. Program B
2. Program A	2. Program B	2. Program A
	3. Program C

Match Process

The actual matching is done on a computer. However, the matching process itself could be completed as effectively by hand; the computer serves only to expedite the process. The computer is set up to process the lists in the following manner.

It first attempts to place Able into his first choice, Program B. Since Program B has an available position, Able is tentatively matched to Program B. Next an attempt is made to place Baker into Program A. Since Program A has an available position, Baker is tentatively matched to Program A.

The computer then attempts to place Charles into Program B. Program B's position is currently filled, but Program B prefers Charles to its current match with Able. Able is therefore removed from Program B, and Charles is tentatively matched into Program B.

Since Able has just been removed from a tentative match with Program B, an attempt is made to re-match Able. The computer first tries to place Able into Program B; however, this is unsuccessful because Program B's position is now filled with Charles, who is preferred by Program B. Next an attempt is made to place Able into his second choice, Program A. Since Program A still has an available position, Able is tentatively matched to Program A.

The matching process is now complete as each applicant's list has been processed, and each applicant is tentatively matched to the most preferred choice possible. Tentative matches now become final.

Note that in the matching process, no applicant or program can be forced into a final match until all applicant Rank Order Lists have been considered for the best possible tentative matches.

~~~~~~~~~~

Did you follow all that? Now think about matching 3,759 applicants to 3,016 internship slots nationwide. Those were the figures from last year - 743 more people than positions. About 80% of those applicants were matched to an internship position, and 90% of positions were filled. 279 applicants withdrew prior to the match, which means that 2,749 out of 3,492 people matched.

I'm no statistician, but without knowing how my sites ranked me, I don't really see how we can calculate my odds of matching. Anyone out there good at math?

*Note: The match is for any doctoral level students pursuing a professional psychology degree that requires internship training prior to graduation. This includes clinical psychology, counseling psychology, school psychology and the degrees of Psy.D., Ph.D., and Ed.D.. I'm in a Psy.D. program in Clinical Psychology.

New Castle Must Have Plenty of Coal

I've just arrived home from my second and final road trip of the month. And hopefully will not be putting rump to car seat for a good long time! My Nissan and I have covered just over 2,000 miles in the past 2 weeks, and R.C. Sproul has never seemed such a bosom buddy. Why, we had the most delightful conversation during the last half hour of my drive home from Tennessee. Last night. At 2:30 a.m.

We get a bit punchy when we're on the road for nine hours by ourselves. R.C. will tell you.

Though you can't begin to imagine the solid, Reformation teaching that has permeated my brain in the past few weeks. If Sproul can Renew Your Mind in 26:50, what do you think happens in (18*2*26:50) + (17*2*26:50)?

I will tell you that I can finish his sentences verbatim and answer his rhetorical questions with nary an effort. [He's making a few grammatical errors in his old age, particularly with regard to subject/verb agreement, he loves the Steelers, and his new favorite phrase is "carrying coal to New Castle", whatever that means (I think it means doing something unnecessary or superfluous?).]

The upside?

Never have I felt so confident of my salvation, so sure of my election, and so ready to give an answer for the things I believe. Go ahead, try me. Reformation theology is like a sweet, sweet drug - wine gladdens the hearts of men, but TULIP makes them positively giddy.

Or it could have been something circulating in my A/C for 9 hours straight. I'm not sure.

But today was a great day to submit my rank list for internship! I have a sense of total peace about my placement (or lack thereof) for next year. A few days ago I was blessed to read through Psalm 112 with some dear sisters (and brother) in Christ, and a line caught my eye.

Psalm 112:1,7:
Praise the Lord!
Blessed is the man who fears the Lord,
who greatly delights in His commandments!
....
He is not afraid of bad news;
his heart is firm, trusting in the Lord.

The Lord is gracious to those who fear him, who walk in his ways and delight in his commandments. We enjoy his providence and tender mercies, and know that whatever comes, it is the Lord's good pleasure for us. So, internship or no, Praise the Lord!

Soli deo gloria!

D-U-N

After a brief whirlwind tour of eastern PA and north Jersey, I am pleased to report that I am hereby DONE with internship interviews!

My deepest and sincere thanks to you who covered my travels and interviews in prayer. It could not have been more clear to me that the Lord God went before me and made His face to shine favorably upon the interviews. While they were intense, I felt sharp and on-point with my responses to questions and analyses of sample case vignettes, etc. I can only hope that my interviewers went away feeling as positive about their time with me.

And I can honestly say that I loved both the Reading Hospital and Medical Center (TRHMC) and Greystone Park Psych Hospital (GPPH) programs. My personality would be a great fit at TRHMC, while the GPPH would offer some wonderful opportunities since it is state-funded and housed in a brand new facility. I would be happy matching at either site!

Now we wait for the dice to be rolled. It's still possible that I won't match at all, so don't stop interceding before the Lord on my behalf! We're confident that the Lord has a plan for the next year of our lives, and hope that it will involve an internship - but if not, we'll proceed where He leads and thank Him for it. May He receive all of the praise and glory for two highly positive interviews and for whatever good He reveals in the coming year.

For Those Who Care

Map of Interview Locations

I wish there were some just a little further west...

Realtime Update

Hey there, sports fans, how about a little live blogging to keep you updated on the oh-so-hot AAPIC action?

The Jersey connection will be excited to hear that I have an interview with Greystone Park Psychiatric Hospital, date TBA. That's only about 45 minutes from y'all! I'll be contacting you soon to invite myself to spend the night when I have my interview :-).

Wooooooooo!!!!!!

I'm up to 2 interviews, with three sites left to hear from...still a long shot, but hope springs eternal!

I Need a Tums Milkshake

Remember that old wooden dueling coaster called the Racer? Of course you do, if you are one of my three readers from the Pittsburgh area. Oh, Kennywood, surely established before the days of safety codes, how fondly do I cherish my memories of your Log Jammer and Raging Rapids, and the slightly life-threatening Jackrabbit. Oh and that one that takes you through the morbid remains of some creepy mining town or something (why would they put that in Pittsburgh?).

Ok, so the Racer: say there's an internship on the Red train and a baby on the Blue train.

I feel like we're at the part where they both go in crazy circle-loops right before they pull back into the final stretch where you see which train wins. (And don't worry, the baby is very well-padded and tightly secured...and apparently immune to the whole shaken baby thing.)

I have absolutely no idea, literally zero, of what the next year of our life will bring. So far I have one interview, and yet to hear from several sites tomorrow as to whether they'd like to interview me. If I had no interviews, we would know that an internship is off the table and we can hop on the baby train, but nooooo I have ONE interview. Which means that the internship odds are against me, but certainly still there.

I am a planner, people. Meaning that I would much prefer to have a PA realtor on speed-dial, our future address safely on the in-laws' refrigerator, and Joel's resume on the desks of every HR person from Pittsburgh to Philadelphia, not to mention our budget for 2009-2010 delineated in a highly detailed Excel spreadsheet.

This would be the appropriate time to remind me of that Lord-of-the-crapshoot post I did way back when.

Joel and I are so grateful to our great God for the promises in His revealed Word and for the faithfulness He has already demonstrated so consistently in our lives. Were it not for the trustworthiness of our Lord, we would be all sorts of messed up over this time of uncertainty. As it is, the emotions come and go, but we rejoice that we are not subject to their whims for our long-term security. Our feet are upon the solid rock of Christ, who will go before and behind us through this next year and forever. My heart is quiet only at the feet of my God, of whom I beg: remind me every moment that You are the one who directs my path.

I do not ask to see the way

My feet will have to tread

But only that my soul may feed

Upon the living Bread.

'Tis better far that I should walk

By faith close to His side;

I may not know the way I go, But oh, I know my Guide.

His love can never fail, His love can never fail,

My soul is satisfied to know His love can never fail.

My soul is satisfied to know His love can never fail.

[Matthew Smith, "His Love Can Never Fail"]

Ok, I was mistaken about having literally zero idea of what the next year will bring. By God's grace, we will enjoy the great bounty of His blessings as we have always done. And if He has hardship in store, may our hearts rejoice in that, too, as our portion from Him and an opportunity for Him to do a great work in our lives.

Overflowing with Thanks

Wouldn't it be neat if I set a blogging goal of posting each day this week about something for which I am thankful?

It would last until tomorrow, when Joel and I will take the road before us until the wee hours, driving over the river and dashing through the snow to get home for the holidays.

Could there be more cheesy musical allusions in one sentence? I think not.

Anyway, right, I don't foresee myself blogging terribly much for the rest of the week.

But two days in a row of blogging about thankfulness constitutes a legitimate blogging streak, don't you think? A veritable trend.

And for what am I thankful today? I thought you'd never ask.

Today, the Lord shined His light of providence into my life and illuminated just the next step or two of this long, windy road I tread. Today, He saw fit to grant assurance that the last four years of my life have not been in vain. Today, I was officially invited for an interview at the Reading Hospital and Medical Center!

Praise God for condescending to the needs of my weak, human heart. I've been trusting Him to the best of my abilities - and it has required a daily laying down of my fears and anxieties at His feet! I am grateful that He has seen fit to lighten my heart's burden by showing me tangible evidence of His continuing provision. This interview doesn't guarantee me an internship spot by any means, but it does mean that the next small hurdle has been leaped and God has rolled out the road just that much further beneath my feet.

I really was going to wait until Thanksgiving to tell y'all important people "in person", or at least over the phone, but I am just overflowing with excitement! I just had to tell the good news, and what better way to tell the fewest possible people than to post it on my blog?

Another Post Office Success Story

Well, y'all, I tell you what. It is utterly fabulous to be done with all this internship baloney!

And by baloney, I mean "important, significant, life-determining obstacle to getting my doctoral degree".

I could DANCE, people. In fact, I'm surprised that I haven't. Actually....be right back....

SO MUCH BETTER!

Yes, I did just go dance mid-post. Just because I CAN and I don't have ANYTHING BETTER TO DO!

Except write all the course-related papers that I've been putting off because of internship cover letters and essays, but ya know.

Allow me to testify to God's ongoing faithfulness, and His divine blessing of total peace about this process. Some have told me that the time between sending applications and hearing about interviews is the most stressful (though I think the week or two leading up to Match Day would be worse) because all you have to do is wait. But I feel, again, totally chill, and more excited than nervous to see what God has in store for us. Out of the 15 sites to which I applied, I could really see myself at any of them (though of course, mom and dad, the Pittsburgh/Cleveland sites look SO GOOD).

That last parenthetical was to make up for the email that went out from Dad Pearce stating that I am seeking an internship in eastern PA or NJ...

Really we would be happy anywhere that is less than 7 hours from any given relative.

And you know what Joel said last night that made my heart so happy? We were thinking about where this next year will take us, and he said, "You know what's crazy? Not to get your hopes up, but think about one year from now when you'll be on internship and...you might even be pregnant by then!"

Oh my stars, people.

God is so good, and we will indeed see where the next year takes us. We pray that He will give us the desires of our hearts - namely, an internship close to home (whichever home that might be) and a little one on the way. But if not, He is still the Lord of our lives and we will rejoice in our portion from Him. 'In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.' [Prov. 16:9].

Another Two Bite the Dust

Two more apps out today - the Pittsburgh VA and Applewood Centers in Cleveland. Yes, we are open to living in Cleveland for a year, and no, I don't know what's come over us.

It continues to be an emotional challenge to mail my application packets. That whole relinquishing control thing can be a doozy. Today went better though... I really didn't think about it until I was on my way out of the post office - at which point I had a mild anxiety episode when I realized I had casually handed my packets off to the postal guy without so much as a mental rundown of their contents.

Then I remembered that I had checked and double-re-checked the checklist (imagine that) and no less than signed my name on each of manila folder to "certify" that the packet was complete. Props to Josh for suggesting that OCD-relieving technique! Now if I'm ever concerned, I can look back at my folders and be assured that I checked the packet thoroughly prior to mailing. Yay!

I sure hope all this work pays off with a few interviews. Either way, though, the Lord is in control and for all my application-mailing OCD, I'm supernaturally chill about the whole process. It's the peace that passes understanding, and I know where it's coming from (hint: Jesus).

More of My Crazy

This is how I know the Lord has a sense of humor.

Today, one of my big internship tasks was to send out my undergraduate transcript request (why some of these sites still care about my undergrad GPA is beyond me, but oh well). So I printed off the request, wrote the check, stamped the envelope, and debated the best way to mail it. (Read: method for quickest pickup/fastest delivery)

Being the technology junkie that I am, and knowing that our mail is delivered around 1:30/2:00, I decided to hop on usps.com to see whether I could get this sucker out any earlier than that (without hiking all the way to a bona fide post office, of course). I'm on a time frame, people. So I found several mailbox locations and selected the closest one. I went so far as to look at the "street view" so I would know exactly which Chinese restaurant the mailbox would be in front of.

Well.

I pulled up to the collection box location and found not a big blue monster eager to devour my letter, but an empty sandblasted-looking patch of sidewalk. The heck?? Like they knew I was coming and thought it would be funny to move the mailbox. I could practically hear the angels snickering as they looked on.

Fortunately, I was aware of another nearby (though slightly further away) collection box and struck out immediately. I arrived only to find out that I had missed the most recent pickup by a whopping ten minutes. Once again, the cherubic chuckling was almost audible. The next pickup was at 2:30, slightly later than it would be collected from our house, but I dropped my letter in anyway so as not to waste a trip. Then I headed home.

And passed a mail truck on our street. At 12:20. On its way to our mailbox, whose little red flag was sticking up. Indicating the presence of other outgoing mail that will be collected a solid two hours before my urgent little transcript request.

I just...this is my life, people.

Starfruit Takes First Place

I received my first return postcard yesterday from Philhaven, one of the early-due-date sites that I applied to last week (or whenever that was). So exciting!!

Also, I'm not superstitious, but I had a fortune cookie recently that said "Your next interview will result in a job." We'll see...